Hi Darlings!

So...I am still sick! Ronald is sick now too! It's sort of the worst, but I'm trying to take it in stride. I thought I would share a few of the things I am loving from around the web right now.

This is the cutest lamp! Last year I became obsessed with swan figurines, I can't get enough of them. Luckily, thrift stores are chock-full of 'em!
This book seems like it would be so fun to look through!

I'm not a huge fan of skulls as I feel they can be sort of gimmicky, but I love these planters! They have a natural history sort of feel about them which totally fits the bill.

I totally want this jumper. It would be so easy to wear with different blouses all Spring.

I've wanted a pair of Swedish Hasbeens for years and this pair is pretty perfect!

I love Rifle Paper Co. and this recipe box they designed is so sweet!

These glasses are so gorgeous. I can totally picture drinking our daily fresh juice in them.

I was going to get a ring for my birthday but we had problems ordering it. I found this vintage diamond engagement ring and am completely smitten! Trying to stay disciplined and remind myself that I can use the money this ring would cost toward some house fixing, but my knees buckle every time I see it. 


What are you loving and dreaming about these days?


Recap: February 16th

Ronald and I celebrated our eleven year anniversary of being a couple on the weekend! We went to lunch and to see a movie (Lone Survivor which was so sad and incredible at the same time).

On Feb. 16th 2003 R and I met at Starbucks with my sister, her now husband, and my brother. As soon as we got there R asked me if I wanted to take a walk. As we walked he told me that he really liked me, and he asked if he could be my boyfriend. I immediately said yes and was so excited. We even remember the exact spot he asked the question and go there often.

That September we were married in a whirlwind wedding. We were ecstatic and so happy to be together. It was awesome. We lived in a tiny one bedroom apartment, went on our honeymoon to Southern California and Disneyland. I made a lot of shitty dinners, and we had our first Christmas dinner together with a precooked ham on a card table and foldable chairs we set up next to our Christmas tree.

We were both in school at our local junior college, and Ron worked full time while I looked for a job. We ended up adopting a kitten (we have always been dog people but our apartment didn't allow dogs).  We named her Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis (Jackie-O for short), she was all black with bright green eyes and was such a doll. After a month or two she got sick and we had to have her put down. It was totally devastating. We kept her one night after we were told she had to be euthanized and it was so sad. On the way to the vet the next morning we listened to some music we had to review (we both did reviews of indie artists for a website), one of the lyrics said "Oh Catherine, I would have done just about anything..." I thought that was Jackie-O telling me she wanted to stay with us and would have if she could have. It was heartbreaking and to this day that song reminds me of her.

The vet told us she had feline aids. We said goodbye and a few months later we adopted another kitten (Scout), she also passed away from feline aids. After this and getting two other kittens who turned out being healthy as can be, the bad started setting in for me. I didn't know what was wrong but I would cry for days on end. I don't mean crying spells throughout the day, I mean all day, for 12 to 16 hours straight just sobbing non-stop. It was one of the worst things I have ever experienced. It lasted well over a year, and then went on and off until I began therapy in 2005.

Through all the tears, and loss, and pain, Ronald has consistently been by my side. He has held me, stayed home from work days on end, canceled hundreds of plans, given me my medications, brought me to my appointments, given me baths, dried my tears, and sat in bed with me convincing me to not kill myself.

We have experienced this battle together and we have gone through more than any couple or person should. And we are still going through it. But what matters is we are going through it together. I am fighting to stay here, to be with him, to be with our loved ones, to be with our dogs and the sunny days and the starry nights. And he is fighting too, we fight together for a life, our life, for a space on this earth.

And the crazy thing is, even in all this shit--we still have a ton of fun. We are so close and are really best friends. We joke and giggle and are just silly. We still go on dates, we still try to impress the other.

I adore him, and he adores me. And we are working on it. On living and loving and being humans, and I am so happy to be his 'special lady friend'.


sick girl notes.

Hello Sweets!

I'm still sick with a cold. It has been a week and a half of resting, and hydrating, and coughing, and trouble sleeping. I'm really ready to feel better but I know it just takes time.

I have been journaling a lot and I try to add some clippings or photos to each page, it's been fun. I've also been using our juicer every day. It is so yummy, Ron and I both love it. It definitely fills me up and is refreshing.

Our first recipe was with berries, apples, and kale. Yesterday we tried carrots, strawberries, and citrus.  They all have been good, and my next move is to add a lot more veggies.

When I feel better I am planning on working on changing some of the decor in our living room, and redecorating most of our bedroom. I can't wait!

I'm also going to do more cooking. If you want to see some of my home decor inspiration, and cooking ideas check out my Pinterest page.





I've been feeling kind of 'meh'. I'm not sure and so sure why. I'm exhausted and am having trouble sleeping. My mood is all over the place and I feel very disconnected.

Some things have been good. I have started making prototypes for some of the art pieces I am planning on selling on Etsy. I have had the idea for months and I think it is going to work! Each piece is going to take a lot of time, but I think I am going to love creating each little detail. I will reveal a bit of the idea soon, once I have a piece finished.

I have really been wanting to have a job. I want to make money so I can buy stuff and know I earned it. I want to have something to do. Problem is I am still a mess and struggle with consistency in my day to day life. My ability to complete tasks varies each day, which is really not conducive to having job responsibilities.

So for now I am going to immerse myself in creating for Etsy. It takes a lot of initiative and I struggle with pushing myself creatively. My creative process takes a lot of emotion, I don't know why--it just does. Most days I don't have any emotion left to spare, but I am going to do my best.

Excited to show you what I am working on, so stay tuned!



Happy Valentine!

Here are some of my favorite finds this week. I love the frame, and the banner would be so fun in a bedroom! That tea set is insane! Yes, heart plates (pitter-patter and sighs). It's out of stock and I'm so sad, even though I don't need another tea set and don't have the money...I want!

The poster is so cute and would fit our house so well color wise. Oh and, those are homemade kit-kats! My favorite candy bar! We might make them this weekend and have an ice cream sundae making contest!

R and I are both sick. We have reservations for a nice dinner and I am going to put on a lace dress and some lipstick and hold that boys hand. We have had beyond our fair share of hard times and lately I feel like I am holding onto him for dear life. I'm glad he is here. He is a goose and I am a goose, and that's good.

I love Valentines Day, love is good and messy, and pink and red is the best color combo on earth (for reals), and then there are flowers, and chocolates, and candle light, it's like my heaven!

I hope you have a good one no matter what. And don't forget to be mine. ;)


old 90s movies, and chex mix

Hi lil' pups!

So I'm sick. Woke Saturday with a bit of a head cold that has quickly turned into a pretty rotten chest cold-mess-thing. Whatever it is, it's not fun. 

I'm so tired and bored so I decided to take a few photographs of my day...

First up are a few shots of Cricket getting ready to sprint into the house and jump on me. She is a fast little thing and loves to do laps around the yard and house like a greyhound. It has been pouring for four days so the pups have been cooped up. Today Cricket decided to run laps anyway while I wasn't paying attention. She came inside with mud all the way up her legs! She was a mess but also really happy. 

I can't wait to tear these trees out of our backyard so we can have a better view of the huge hill behind our place. These trees freak me out big time.

Love this hanging plant I found a few weeks ago. I have an ivory macrame' hanger to use for it but I'm not sure where I want to hang it. I am a sucker for holiday window clings, too!

The girls made this mess in a matter of minutes! At least they are having fun.

Love these pink colored poms. I can't get enough of frilly party decorations!

Glad I have these huge bottles of sparkling water. I don't drink regular water other than when I take pills, so seltzer is a must, and the orange essence in this brand is perfect!

I should have had a nap today but I didn't. I guess watching boring tv is better than nightmares. I have had the worst frights when I sleep so I try not to, which probably makes it worse...ah well.

Hopefully I get better soon, and good things start happening.


you're swell.

I really like this kid.

I've had a rough two days, but am so happy it's the weekend and that I get to have time with this fella. I woke with a little cold this morning, but we still managed to do some chores around the house and run a few errands. I even got a chance to bake!

Now we are watching Mad Men reruns and relaxing. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday.



I love jellyfish and while at the aquarium on our vacation I was completely fascinated by the ruffle-like tentacles on these pacific sea nettles. Aren't they amazing?



I miss the ocean. My heart hurts for it. I've never had a more difficult time adjusting to being home after a trip. Even though we were just a little over two hours away in Monterey for four days, I miss it so much it hurts.

I want to live there. So bad. I feel alive when I am there, I feel calm and most like myself. I am reminded that if I ever lived there it would lose its luster. My problems would follow me and that hopeful glimmer would fade. I know that and don't. I don't know how the ocean could ever lose its fascinating magic.

I just want to feel alive and ok for more than a few minutes at a time. I have also thought about getting a vintage style bicycle with a brown wicker basket up front. I would ride down our Iron Horse trail to the market and peddle so fast I would feel that brief sense of flying. But our house is up the steepest hill and there is no way I could bike or walk a bike up it. So that's that. I just want something good.

The ocean is a dream, my dream. My hope. A breeze and the spray of waves too perfect to even utter a sound. Oh lord, I miss it.