on babies

Pablo Neruda

So here's something I usually don't talk about on the blog: babies. Ronald and I have been trying to get pregnant for a ridiculously long time. When we first decided to try we thought our lives would be pretty normal. We thought my depression would respond to standard treatment,  that I wouldn't get a chronic illness, and of course that we would get pregnant after a few months of trying. Seven years later and we are still trying to get pregnant, I have had fibromyalgia since for three years, and my depression is just starting to lift with treatment and hard work.

People often ask when we are going to have kids and we always say we are waiting to start a family. For a long time I told myself we were never going to have a baby, just so it didn't hurt as much. Not only due to the fertility issues but because I will have to be off anti-depressants for the pregnancy which will be super challenging. I was in a state of mourning for a long time because I've wanted to be a mom since childhood. I just really thought it would never happen.

But now things are starting to lift, I'm starting to find myself, to strip away at the old identity that was keeping me stuck and depressed. I'm not sure how motherhood will be with fibro, it will be harder but I'm a tough cookie. And so now we are going to try to have a baby. It seems silly to say that, as we have been trying for all these years, but now our hearts and determination are back in it. We are going to see a fertility specialist in March and I found out at a recent doctors appointment that I have a weird condition that may be the entire reason we aren't able to get pregnant, and that a pretty standard surgery could make it so we can have a baby. 

Fertility issues are a weird thing. A lot of people deal with them, but just don't talk about it. For so long I took that road, but I'm done with that. I want to talk about it because it's real, because it shouldn't be a secret. So here's to hoping, and to good things happening.

xo, C


L a t e l y

working on craft prototypes

Hi Loves!

I thought I would do a quick check in post. I'm hoping to blog more but the days seem to get away from me. I started a notebook for blog ideas and am looking forward to some new posts! 

Things have been crazy. Lots of change and I am a giant stress-ball. One thing that has helped so much is meditating. I've wanted to try it for years, and finally started. It's so hard but so worthwhile. Anyway, here are some happenings:

<> I've been a bit of a socializer. It's hard nerve wise but also really fun.

<> I am less hateful of my nose, just indifferent now.

<> I bought the pups new collars for Spring, all with flowers and fun patterns.

<> I've started seeing a personal trainer once a week. Yesterday was my first session and it kicked  
     my ass!

<> I'm behind on homework. Today is a catch up day and I'm so cranky about it. I hate online school.

<> I haven't done my nails in almost two weeks, chipped red polish for the win...

<> I am in love with macrame and just found an amazing macrame curtain for the kitchen window.

<> I have been wearing the same few dresses over and over, time to change it up.

<> Speaking of clothes, it's about time I go through my closet, it's stuffed!

<> I've been drinking quite a bit of whiskey. Which is the best.

What have you been up to, darling? More soon!

xo, C


Favorite shop

Paris journal


iceberg sticky notes

kitty umbrella

cotton pouch

Mochi Things is one of my favorite shops. Above are a few of the goodies I have my eye on right now. They are currently having a 15% off sale, so check them out. All their items are really good quality, a bit pricey but everything is so unique and sometimes it's worth a little splurge. 

I love stationary and accessories so this shop has had me hooked for ages. I have the markers pictured and they are great! I also recently bought a plain page scrapbook from them that I can't wait to use. I think the little pouches would make great purse organizers and be perfect for travel! Going to have to get one if our Summer Lisbon trip pans out (fingers crossed!).

Enjoy the pretty things today. Take a moment to savor the little bits of goodness around you.

xo, C



Here's a little list of some of my good and bad habits. Enjoy.

Good Habits:

Meditate every morning (this app is amazing!).

Journal daily.

Condition my hair (this stuff is the best but it smells like quinoa).

Give monthly to our local animal shelter--save them animals!

Drink green smoothies (way better than imagined).

Hydrate...usually forget until the afternoon but catch up.

Take my vitamins.

Bad Habits:

Leave crumpled notes and tissue all over the house (even though the garbage can is close by).

Avoid eye contact when alone in public at all possible costs even if it means bumping into something.

Don't exercise or do yoga (this will change with bike riding next week!)

Wash my hands obsessively and use hand sanitizer, so scared of getting sick...

Suck at responding to emails in a timely manner.

Am the worst at doing laundry. It never gets put away...

Being social (trying to do better at this but so ANXIOUS).


Home Manifesto

Here are some photographs of the house and ten home rules I keep. It was fun wandering around taking photos of the little things this morning and also identifying the specific things that make my home work. Enjoy!

1. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of your house. It is your house. I repeat: it is your house! Don’t worry about what the dinner guests think, or what your friends say about your decor, it’s your space. It has taken me a long time to learn this, and I still forget much of the time.

2. Set your house up to work for you. Maybe your dining room makes a better craft space, or a bedroom is better for a family room or dressing room, who gives a crap what was “intended”, make it work for you.

3. Read home magazines with caution. Just like fashion magazines, home magazines set standards of how things should be. They tell you what is cluttered, what an ugly bathroom looks like, etc. Don’t get me wrong, they have some great advice too, but remember point one, it is your house.

4. Make sure you feel happy in your space. Do you feel calm when you are at home, or do you feel overwhelmed? Ask yourself what it is that is making you feel both positive and negative emotions in your home. Address those areas. Add more of the things that make you happy, and work on solutions for the negatives.

5. For me, personal photographs are so important for taking ownership of the house. I realized yesterday that we currently only had one personal photo hung in our house! This morning I changed that by using washi tape to put pictures of Ronald, the dogs, and me around the house. If frames are your thing— go for it, or use tacks, or tape. Remember there are no rules as to how to hang a photograph or what photos to hang. Hang outtakes or goofy faces. Whatever you love!

6. If collections are your thing, display them! I collect vintage toys and just about everything else so I blend bits and pieces throughout the house. Collections should be shown off, so don’t just hide them in a drawer. Let yourself enjoy them, after all you collect because you love the items you are collecting.

7. Mix print and pattern. Our love seat is covered in a fur throw, paisley tablecloth, plaid blanket, and assortment of pillows and I love it. It feels bohemian, cozy and lived in. It’s inviting. Don’t be afraid to have things together that don’t match. Sometimes they actually compliment each other in a weird way. Just go off what you feel and experiment.

8. Keep things tidy. No one really likes an unmade bed, dishes in the sink, or dust bunnies, so clean up! Each morning I make the bed, clean the kitchen, and tidy each room. It’s a habit now and a good way to start the morning for me. Take a little time each day to tidy, you’ll be surprised how much easier it makes your daily routine.

9. Make it smell good. With three dogs I know how smelly a house can get! I light a selection of candles every night in soft floral scents. It sets the mood for me, tells me it’s time to rest, and it makes our house smell fantastic! Don’t save candles for special occasions, use them all the time. If candles aren’t your thing, use scented room spray (easy to find at discount stores in huge spray bottles), make your own with essential oils (lots of recipes on Pinterest), or use plain old Febreeze. Spray the air and furniture, it makes a huge difference. And don’t forget to open the windows as often as you can! Homes often have poorer air quality than outdoor air!

10. Rest and play. Make your house a place of good things. Not just by the way you decorate, but the way you live in it. Play games, be silly, have movie nights. Take baths, get a shoulder massage from hubs, or have a romantic dinner at the table with those fancy plates. Whatever works for you, don’t always fuss, let the house get messy sometimes. Let there be play, and magic, and good things.



Homework & Valentine cookie.

My new ridiculous looking bike helmet.

The calendar is finally up!


Garden planning.

Hi Dolls,

I've been a bit of a mess these days. Dealing with a lot of anger and loneliness. Trying to get to the bottom of my depression is hard as hell. I'm working on it though.

As you can see from the above photo I'm planning my Spring garden. I'm so looking forward to getting in the dirt and planting! My raised bed kits are arriving in the mail today and I can't wait! Going to get seeds this week even though it isn't time to plant yet because I am just so excited.

I'm also getting ready for my first adventure on Pip! I need a tire pump and it is currently storming to all hell out, but in the next few days I'm going on a bike ride!

What have you been up to, lovely?

xo, C



So January was a bit of a bruise. It started with one of the worst Fibromyalgia flares I have had in years, and ended with my usual birthday blues which really kicked my ass. The one bright spot was our trip to Disneyland. It was one of the best trips I have ever been on. I think because I was feeling really connected to Ronald and trying my best to be in the moment. 

So "ouch!" and "hooray!" because it's over. This month I'm hoping to get back to crafting, writing, and taking myself on coffee shop dates to study. My big project is going to be cleaning up my dressing room which has become a disaster over the last month or two. One of these days I'll get it tidy enough to share some pictures with you! It's pink and dreamy when it's clean...

I'll also be starting my adventurous life with Pip! Speaking of Pip, she arrives at my doorstep tomorrow! Also, my helmet makes me look like male pre-adolescant t-ball player (shit-balls). 

xo, C


think pink





blood orange poppyseed scones

Dolce & Gabbana

Hi Dolls!

Here are some of my favorite pink finds. I think its pretty clear I'm in the mood for Spring with the outfit picks (those shoes are to die for!). Also, the scones look amazing and I am thinking of giving them a bake this week. Feel a bit of a cold coming on so we'll see. I really need this flask as R and I have been wanting to start sneaking booze into the movie theater. Oh subtle trouble, how I love thee, especially when you contain whiskey!

xo, C



So this is my new bike! I named her Pip and I am so in love! I ordered her online so she will be on my doorstep in just a few days! I'm terribly excited and also a little nervous because I haven't been on a bike since I was a little one.

Hopefully Pip and I will go on some tremendous adventures. I am going to ride her to the coffee shop to do homework, to the market for flowers, and one of my first stops will be the horse stables I can peak at from the trail by our house!

xo, C

p.s. The safety-geek in me has to remind you that if you bike, make sure you wear a helmet.  This is the helmet I bought, simple and cute.