Ask The Boss

So somehow I married the cutest guy on earth. If I told him this to his face he would hide in his hoodie as pictured above. He also does this when I take more than three consecutive photos of him. Which is better than me, as I usually hide after one!

I thought it would be fun to start a new feature on the blog so you can get to know this kid better. It's called ask the boss as that is my go-to nickname for him. I call him that more than his real name, and I have fore years. I don't really know how or why I started calling him this, but I have for years.

Without further adieu, here is my first question to the 'boss' followed by his answer.

Q: What is your favorite TV show?

A: Right now my favorite show is True Detective. I think the moodiness and complexity is awesome. The acting is incredible of course. More importantly the show makes you ask questions, about life, about religion, about love, about friendship. You hear all these things that sound crazy but then you think about them more and they make some sense to you, which makes you think more deeply about it all. 

I don’t know that it’s my favorite show of all time (not sure what that is) but for now there it is. 


If you haven't seen True Detective on HBO you are seriously missing out. It is totally brilliant. It's dark and violent, so beware for that, but it isn't mindless violence for violence sake. Check out the link above to learn more. The first season just ended but you can probably still catch episodes online or with your cable provider.


I'll be asking Ronald more questions and will try to post an answer once a week. What do you think?



Hi Dollies,

I'm feeling a ton better today. So, so relieved! 

I thought I would share the crazy organizing mission I had in the dining room/crafty area of the house...wish I took before pictures, but I am horrible at remembering to do that! I really like how things turned out, and now that I can find things, I am doing to craft! Hoorah! 

These salt and pepper shakers will always stand for Sylvia Plath for me. Stumbling upon her journals at a library in a cow-town when I was sixteen totally changed my life. It was the first time I learned that my thoughts, both melancholy and happy, were okay and not crazy. This was long before I was diagnosed with depression, and it really led me to getting the help I need. For that reason I will always adore her, and she will always be one of my beloved friends.



Life is such a weird monstery thing. It's almost three in the afternoon, and I have yet to shower or dress. I feel flat. Not just flat, but pushed down. Down in the woolly mammoth of a stomach depression.

I even pushed myself to get things done today. Still sick, but doing. I organized my huge pink shelf in the dining room, and tidied my desk, setting up everything I need for the new things I want to make. I have been wanting to do this for months, and it looks great, but I feel 'meh' about it.

The weird thing is, depression doesn't just affect my feelings. It affects my mood and thoughts. There is a difference for me between feelings. Some feelings are fleeting and I can choose to hold on and experience them or not, but for me the feelings of depression dig deep, they permeate me, they recede into me.

I have been shuffling around the house in my slippers. Little things like peeing seem to take too much effort. Taking a shower sounds like torture. I walk through the hallway thinking "how does anyone do this?!?!", "how do people live without feeling like shit all the time? without wanting to kill themselves?".

I have depression, and it fucks with me. I hate it. I remind myself that the last several nights I've had horrible sleep, and that I have been sick for seven weeks, but still...depression is a bitch, and it's here, and it may not go away for a while.

I just have to live in the tiny moments. In the dog pats, and husband talks, in washing the dishes while looking at all the buds on our lemon tree outside. Even if I don't feel anything, even if I feel the worst, life keeps shuffling forward, in slippers or heals, life is here. I hate it but I've had a few days where I love it, and those days were nice.



Life has been so strange lately. I started coming down with a cold around February tenth, and I was down and out for about five weeks. And I mean, laying in bed or on the couch, not being able to do anything, and having no energy. Two antibiotics later I am a little better, but still not well.

I have bouts of energy here and there, but can't stick to my routine and end up exhausted every other day or so. My head is so full of pressure I feel like I'm going to pop. I am taking the over the counter meds my doctor told me to try, vitamins, doubling up on Emergen-C, and juicing every day...still not better.

It seriously is the worst. I complain constantly because I'm just in shock at how bad I can feel for so long! It's been almost seven weeks and I just can't believe it. I do what I can, but mostly I rest and make plans of the things I will do when I can start functioning again.

My mind is so overwhelmed and frazzled. I feel super guilty for getting behind on things, and I am getting more and more stressed. Then I remember I'm sick and that it's ok...but I still feel the stress physically. I feel desperate and seriously cannot remember what it was like to not be sick.

On top of this, I'm dealing with my fibromyalgia pain, nightmares and insomnia, as well as the ebb and flow of depression. It's easy for me to get discouraged. I am doing my best, and that's all I can do.

I do have some exciting things in the works (at least the brain/planning part). I hope to share some of them soon. Soon being the next month or two...who knows when I'll feel better! ;)

It's really hard to be sad when this little Cricket smiles at me! She is such a doll (and also extraordinarily anxious, barky, kissy, bouncy, lazy, crazy).


loving lately

Hi Dears! 

Been feeling a lot better since my last post mood wise (thanks for the sweet comments). I thought I'd post some of the things I'm loving these days. More soon!

This card is awesome. 

Who doesn't need a unicorn glass?

These shoes remind me of Jane Austen.

Best chair.

Cutest iPad case.


"but there's still no cure for crying"

Three panic attacks in two days. I guess the baddies are here. I swear, my world gets smaller every time I cry. And you know me, I can cry for hours...

I could say it all started when...blah blah blah. But sometimes I think it all started the moment I was born. I was made for this. I was made to be sad. I know I shouldn't think this way, that I should think I am more and not believe in voodoo, but right now nothing else makes sense.

And it's bad, and it's wrong, and I need to get my thoughts right.


So early. So survey.

Hi Dolly-cakes!

So...I am still recovering from this sinus infection nonsense. I was feeling almost better for a few days, and now I'm back to being exhausted, headached, throat-ached, and coughing up a storm. Also, I woke up at 4:30 this morning. Sigh...

I'm a sucker for surveys, and I found this one on Caitlin's blog, The Desert Dandelion, check her blog out, she is super cool.  So here we go, survey bitches!

1) If you could change something about yourself, what would it be and why?

My depression for sure. It has been with me since my crappy childhood (undiagnosed 'til I was in my twenties), and has filled years of my life with horror and hopelessness. Seriously, mental illness is one of the worst things on earth. It is terrifying knowing (and experiencing on a daily basis) my brain lying to me, and trying to convince me to give up and kill myself. 

2) What’s the farthest you’ve been from home?

R and I went to Maui a few years ago. We live in Northern California so I've never really been too far from home. I dream of going to London, France, and Italy, but I don't even have a passport!

3) What is your motto?

The thing I tell myself dozens of times a day is: "You are okay, it's going to be okay". It's not really a motto, but it is one of the few things that comfort me when I am alone and anxious or depressed.

4) What are your hobbies?

I like taking pictures, writing, making various things, pasting magazine clippings in my journal, decorating our house and making home reno plans. Also, loving our pups like crazy, reading poetry, and rambling on and on with Ronald whenever I get a chance.
side note: I have really stopped doing creative things. Creating is a very emotional process for me, and I am full of self-doubt. I have had an idea of something I wanted to create for over six months, I made my first 'prototype' last month and have yet to complete it or make more because I'm scared. I feel paralyzed and I fucking hate it. I am hoping to get past my fear and start a shop on Etsy at some point. My main goal now is just to create. I need to be a brave girl, but that is easier said than done.

5) What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

I think ice cream is my favorite flavor. ;) I really love cookie dough, rocky road, mint chocolate chip, and strawberry. Stop talking about ice cream, I'm getting my health-nut on and ice cream is not part of the plan! 

6) What two things could you not do when you were a child, but you can do now?

I can spend time with anyone I want (I was banned from any people who weren't Christian as a child), I can wear anything I want (even tank tops! Seductive, I know...), and I can go to actual school if I want rather than being home schooled. Oops! That's 3...I could go on and on.

7) If you could travel anywhere in the world – where would you go and why?

I think Paris. I am a sucker for the dreamy impressions of it in movies, and want to walk along the Seine and think of Sylvia Plath.
8) Have you ever met a famous person?
I don't think so. I don't even think I've been near any real famous people, and if I was I would never approach them. It isn't that important to me, and I'm shy as hell.
9) What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
I have a constant feeling of guilt. It's so horrible. I also am extremely self-conscious. As in: I have been married over ten years and I still think my husband doesn't really like me. Yeah...that.

10) One word that describes you?


11) If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why?

Pale or rosy pink.

12) What is the weather like right now where you are?

It's 50 degrees f. and still dark out. It has been warming up a ton and is almost hot during the day (75 degrees f.), I hate it because I love the cold and rain...well California's version of cold. :) We are also in a drought and it is only going to get worse as things warm up. I do love all the budding trees and flowers though.

13) How tall are you?

This reminds me of a scene from Best In Show, if you know what I'm talking about *high five!*
I'm 5'4".

14) When you were little – what did you want to be “when you grew up?”

A mom. A police officer. An archeologist.

15) Toilet paper. Roll with paper coming off the top or the bottom?

For a while I didn't care, it seemed like such a big deal over something silly, but now it's off the top for sure.

16) Favorite sport you like to watch or participate in?

If I was asked to play a sport, I would probably run away. I do play the hoops game with Ron at arcades and usually win (sometimes), but I know that isn't a sport...I would love to play a game of basketball with him one day and try to kick his ass. I don't watch sports other than the Super Bowl.

17) What kind of food do you prefer eating when you are out?

Mexican for sure. We have some good places around here and I love chips and salsa and tortillas (yay! Carbs!).

18) Last movie you watched?


19) Would you like to be famous?

That is a terrifying thought, so no.

20) What book are you reading?

Z: A novel of Zelda Fitzgerald --by Therese Anne Fowler
Handmade to Sell: Hello Craft's Guide to Owning, Running, and Growing Your Craft Biz                    --by Kelly Rand, Christine Ernest, Sara Dick, and Kimberly Dorn

21) If you have $5 million to spend in 5 days, but with the clause you could not spend any of it on yourself or your family, what would you do with it?

I would give to St. Jude, The Humane Society, and some of the small animal shelters in our area. Charities like World Vision, and The Red Cross, Wounded Warriors or another organization that helps veterans (especially those suffering with PTSD). I would also donate a lot to help the refugees in the Syrian civil war, check this out for some stats on the 5.5 million children suffering from the devastation (it's crazy, and not really focused on).

22) If you knew that you could try any kind of work/employment and that you would not fail, what would you attempt doing?

1. Be a writer

2. Have my own craft business/store where I sell my creations along with some vintage things

3. An oceanographer

4. A home decorator/designer

5. A graphic designer



Hi Cuties!

The morning is so brilliant I had to put on my slippies and go out to our front and back yard to take some photographs. The trees are full of songbirds and woodpeckers (annoying critters if they get to your house, but their rhythmic pecking is lovely). Everything smells of moss, sappy trees, and overgrown weeds. It's sweet, and herbal, and cool. That's what I love about living here. We are still totally connected to freeways, and cities, but we are nestled to the west in our little lovely-shamble house.

R is graduating from school in about a month (masters degree woo!), and once he is done we are going to finish renovating our Litina Darling. I named our house that last year, and our street is named Litina. I kind of name everything...so yeah.

We need to renovate our bathrooms, have a giant organizing get-rid-of-things party, paint a bunch, move furniture, and get some new stuff.

Here's some info on our house and a list of the plans:

3 bedroom 2 bath 1400 square feet built 1960
living area is 1 living room space, kitchen, and dining room
huge backyard and front yard (both not landscaped)


Renovate both bathrooms-they are falling apart big time! Haven't been worked on since the 60s!

Repaint dining room/kitchen (renovated 2011 but want to change the look a bit)

Turn dining room into my art studio. It faces the backyard and gets the most light. We don't use our dining room on a daily basis so it's unused space.

Two spare rooms- we don't use these rooms other than a place to put stuff, so our house is basically one bedroom and we have been that way for years. We are going to clean out the rooms, paint, and put in closet organizers.

Bedroom- this room is super small! Currently it is way too crowded with furniture. We are going to make one spare room into a dressing room for me. Painting it pink and putting most of my clothes in it with my vintage desk vanity (which is in our bedroom right now). I'm super excited to have my own little space and have more room!

Once we move some things out of our bedroom, we are going to rearrange the furniture and put up new curtains, and art.

Living room- set up 3 Ikea shelves to look like a shelving unit (was going to pay $500 for one, but realized we could make our own with one more $55 shelf!). It will be awesome to have more storage in our living room so I can display all our books and my crazy vintage collections. Get a new couch to replace our stupid broken one, new coffee table to replace our broken one.

Landscape yards. Cut down ugly juniper trees so we can get a better view of the hill behind us (can't wait!). Put in raised flower beds and a new deck.


So there is a lot to do, but I am so excited! I will post some pictures next week of my room inspiration and design ideas.

Now to some Spring cleaning. Second day working in the living room, it's cleaned and now time to re-decorate, hooray!

Talk soon, dolls!


Faves of the week

This vintage french paint set is amazing!

One of the best pictures maybe ever...

Other things:

Tour of my dream house. This house is in the town right next to me! One day...

This E.E. Cummings poem is lovely (did you know the lower case spelling of his name was a gimmick by a publisher?--but it stuck)-

Spring is like a perhaps hand
(which comes carefully
out of Nowhere)arranging
a window,into which people look(while
people stare
arranging and changing placing
carefully there a strange
thing and a known thing here)and

changing everything carefully

spring is like a perhaps
Hand in a window
(carefully to
and from moving New and
Old things,while
people stare carefully
moving a perhaps
fraction of flower here placing
an inch of air there)and

without breaking anything.


Lastly, this always gets me through a bad day.