only the lonely

I've been so lonely these days. I have struggled with loneliness most of my life, especially during my childhood. I remember it became really bad when I was eight and my best friend moved away. I was totally devastated, and ever since that time, I've felt and believed that loneliness would plague me my entire life, and that I drive people away.

I thought once I was married the loneliness would dissolve and I would feel entirely attached. The thing is, that isn't true. Even though I am totally attached to Ronald, there are still times of intense loneliness. I think it has just followed me here. Also, I am alone a lot. Basically most of the week, and that makes it hard. I love being alone sometimes, but after a while it wears me down like sand-paper.

It all makes me sad and disappointed. As I often say, life is a weird bug. And here I am lost in the mire of it.

xx, C


  1. I understand how you feel. You're certainly not completely alone though. You always have me!!!

  2. And me!!!
    I feel the same way. I am always telling Joe how lonely I feel even when he's right there. My best friend moved away when I was 8 too. So weird.

    It's too bad you, Karen and I don't live closer together. I think we would have really fun girls nights.

  3. Totally know what you mean about the pervasive loneliness... its like this weird emptiness that wont go away... I wonder what causes us to feel this way so permanently??


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