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"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." -Robert Frost

It's my birthday tomorrow. I'm turning thirty. Finally and not at all close. I feel much older, much, much. And yet I know I am young and foolish still.

Last night I had the strangest dreams. It was like moments in my life were looping in my mind. They were actual memories too, usually my dreams are full of abstracts and bogey-men. I still woke up scared, maybe out of habit. When I woke at four this morning, I felt an incredible sadness.

I still feel that sadness. It isn't just tearful, or depression, it's grief. I'm so full up with it that I can't think straight. 

I am thinking of what I can do to make the day better, but everything seems painful. I don't really know how to describe it. 

Birthdays have always been hard for me. I try to make the day special, to get excited, but usually I end up in bed sobbing. 

Life hasn't turned at all how I imagined as a little girl in the hiding place behind our backyard, or on the merry-go-round at the park. It's so different, I can't recognize it. I can't put my finger on my pulse any more. The completely disheartening thing is that each year tends to get worse. 

I feel like something got me at a very young age and mucked everything up. I don't just feel it, I know it. I'm trying to get out of the trenches and be free of it. But I keep being pulled down further. 

This morning it is sticky with the humid rain-is-coming promise. We are going to Monterey this weekend, and there will be rain there as well. I guess it's fitting. I do and don't mind, the beach in the rain sounds sort of like magic.

I don't feel like making cupcakes with pink frosting, giving myself a hair cut, dye, and manicure, picking outfits and shoes for the trip, or getting a CT scan (scared as fuck). But these things are going to happen. So here goes...

p.s. Last year I had a concussion on my birthday. This year I have a concussion too. Both caused by my apron front kitchen sink (and my total inability to notice it when I am getting something out of the  cupboard underneath it).


mornin' at home

Snaps from our front patio yesterday morning.



Sketchbook by Danielle Kroll

Full of nature

Shoes in goldenrod

This is so me! See even more mean kid notes here.

Hello Dears,

Things have been rough so I have not been in a blogging-emailing-tweeting-pinning-instagramming-texting-talking mood. I thought I would at least post a few things I have loved this week.

In this lull I have been planning a lot of home projects and watching BBC shows. Oh and puppy snuggles are the best. 75 pound Amelia lays in my lap sleeping most of the day. It's the cutest/sweetest/most comforting thing. I sewed some pretty fabric flowers to her collar this week. She is a doll!

I will write an honest post one of these days...mainly I've just been getting through, but I'm still here. 


some scenes from the week

Valentine poms waiting to be hung around the house

Backyard at 36 degrees

Valentine paper flowers (I found the kit at Target)

Dying anemone by the kitchen window

Vintage farm glass I thrifted this week

Chalkboard note

Favorite find of the week- vintage lion bobble head

Cricket being cute

Shells and fern (plant hanger found at Urban Outfitters)


making: bruschetta

I love bruschetta, and being able to make it at home is the best. It took me awhile to figure out how to make it right, but I think I'm getting there. I made some this morning to share at a family dinner with my in-laws, and here's how.

You need:

4 off the vine tomatoes
3 cloves of garlic
1 small bunch of basil
splash of olive oil (I used garlic infused extra virgin)
dash of pepper (to taste)

First, get super ripe tomatoes. The redder and more soft the better as they have the most flavor. Cut the tomato in fourths and trim out the hard pinkish stuff inside each fourth. Remove most of the seeds and juice, so you really only have the outer flesh of the tomato. Keep a few seeds and a bit of the juice, but not all of it as it will make the bruschetta too watery. Take the remaining tomato fourth and slice it in half longways, then slice it into smaller pieces.

For the garlic, I recommend a garlic press. I have had my own kitchen for over ten years and just got a garlic press in 2013. Holy shit do I regret not getting one sooner! If you don't have one, very thinly minced garlic will do just fine.

For the basil, I not only remove the large stem, but I also remove the stem or vein that is in the middle of each leaf. It isn't a science, so doesn't need to be perfect. I just pull either side of the leaf off the middle vein. Easy peasy! I used about ten medium sized leaves.

Once you de-stem the leaves, grab half the leaves in a bunch and roll them up in one of the large leaves. Turn the rolled up leaves horizontally and cut the roll into small slices. Having the basil rolled up in a leaf makes this a lot easier! Do the same with the other half of leaves and then take the strips and dice them a bit.

Once you have all the ingredients sliced and minced and blah-blah-blah, add them to a small bowl (I used a cereal bowl and there was plenty of room). Before stirring everything together throw in a bit of pepper (I love pepper so used a lot, just depends on what you like), and add a splash of olive oil. Take a spoon and gently fold the ingredients together, after that chill for a while before serving.

I like to serve mine as an appetizer with lightly toasted baguette slices. You can also add parmesan or mozzarella cheese (the soft fresh kind is the best!). For a meal, I sauté italian style chicken sausage with peppers and onion, then serve it as open faced sandwiches with garlic toast and the bruschetta as a topping. It's one of my favorites!

Hope you like the recipe. Happy bruschetta making!


plans and finds and old lady pjs.

Hi Loves!

It's morning and I'm all bundled up in my fluffy pink old-lady robe. Yes, I love old-lady pajamas that I usually find at Wal-Mart. Somehow even though I totally hate that store and the things it sells I can't help myself from going there once a month and spending two hours browsing at all the nonsense they carry. I think the lighting or McDonald's french fry smell puts a spell on me.

I'm already in Valentine's mode and am going to start decorating soon. Pink and Red are my favorite color combo and I'm a sucker for anything sweet and romantic. 

I am also working on setting up a blog schedule which will help guide my post topics each week. My categories are: Make, Reflections, Ask the Boss, and Honey I'm home. So stay tuned for more regular postings and some new features!

This morning I thought I would share a few of my favorite finds from around the internet this week. What do you think? Found anything fabulous online lately?

Love this look! It's soft yet tough at the same time.

This peach smoothie recipe from Chalk White Arrow looks so yummy!

Love this engraved ring.

Clare Elsaesser's work is pretty stunning! It was so hard for me to choose just one print to post. 
I love the vibrant colors in this print.


ho-hum, uhm, uhm.

I've been sitting here for a long time. Not sure what to say...

Things have been hard. I've been experiencing a lot of fibromyalgia pain and issues with inflammation. I've been exhausted beyond words and trying to keep my mood up in spite of how yucky I've been feeling.

I want to do so much this year. I have ideas for the blog, a ton of things I want to make, and books to read. I want to start going for walks, spend more time at home with the pups, and set up home renovations (which includes designing the changes we want).

All this along with therapy and doctor appointments, chores, bill paying, and errands. I am hoping I will start getting more energy soon. I'm in the process of setting up appointments with some new doctors to figure out how to best treat me. 

So yes, it's been quiet. But I haven't forgotten this space. I miss it, but I don't know what to say. I've been having trouble finding my words. But I hope to be back to posting regularly soon.

xx, C

p.s. What do you think of the new blog design? I love it!


public service announcement

Hi Sweets!

So the blog is going to be under construction for a bit. I am just not in love with the current design. It actually has made me want to blog even less.

I'm really excited about the new design and it should be up soon. So hang on, I'll be back soon!

Love, Catherine