Hello Darlings,
Things have been really tough this last week. My depression has been coming back and now it is at its worst again. My mind is plagued with morbid thoughts, I'm terribly anxious, and so sad I can't even express it.
I keep writing posts about how I am feeling but they don't make any sense and I just don't feel like sharing. I've been a loner and basically only want to be with Ronald or by myself. I guess I feel like that a bit online too. I don't even write emails any more.
But I'll be back here eventually, I'm sure. You know me, I keep going. Not always sure why, but I do.
C
Depression always seems to come in waves for me. I am always shocked when I have a few good days and feel like I'm back on track, then suddenly I'll have a day when I wake up and the sadness is so heavy in my chest, the weight crushes me and I can't get off the couch. And I can't figure out why or where the bad days come from.
ReplyDeleteI have obvious days, like when I'm in physical pain and that always brings me to a low point. But on days when I "feel" good on the outside, I can't understand why it still hurts so much inside of me.
But, the good days come back, and I know they always will. There is nothing wrong with you wanting to only be with your husband, I am the exact same way. If I never talked to another person for the rest of my life, except for J, I would be okay with that.
Thanks for the comment. I get shocked too when the depression comes back. It's a tricky illness and I hate the ups and downs. I'm hoping things stabilize soon.
ReplyDeleteLove, C