3/13/13

Late-ly



A lovely Saturday jaunt to the farmers market with Ronald.
I love that the trees are scuttling to life, and how blue the sky is!


Red potatoes from the farmers market for lunch.



Amelia begging for said potatoes. She fell asleep like this too!


Saturday night I cleaned off the island so I could set out my collection of cookie jars.
I didn't realize I had an actual collection until I set them all together!


I also put flowers on the window sill to cheer the place up in the evenings. 


Isabelle at Grammy and Grampie's house on Sunday.


Isabelle today in bed looking like she has dentures. I think this is the cutest picture ever!


Cricket's smile-face. She is such a happy little pup!


Boxes of daffodils at the market.


One of my favorite tiny prints that I found at a thrift store years ago. 
Still trying to figure out where to hang it.
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Hello Darlings, it's been a while. I have a few thoughts that I want to share, we'll see if I can get them to make sense.

I blogged every day for years. Seriously, for about six years it was my routine to blog every morning. I loved it. I even had a few blogs at the same time and updated them all each day. I was passionate about it. My main blog(s) that I had for all that time were deleted due to a stupid mistake I made when I went to update some things (totally learned my lesson now), it was horrible. It was devastating to know so many of my thoughts were gone, all my work just disappeared. That was last March.

I tried to take it in stride and started blogging within a few days of losing all of the past blogs. For a while it worked. I felt good about this space. Then I stopped posting every day, and things went downhill.

Now I just don't feel like blogging anymore. When I'm sitting looking at the blank page-template I feel stuck in quicksand. I feel like I need to say certain things, or keep things in a certain light. I feel mired in my sadness, in memories of how hard things have been and still are. It just feels old here. It feels like I regurgitate the same thought/story/pattern over and over. Things start to get better and there are some positive posts, then suddenly I am deeply depressed and writing about how horrible life is. 

I have thought about how I want to have a space that reflects what I want my life to be, not just what it is right now. What my passions are rather than my feelings and life situation moment to moment. I want to inspire myself, to inspire others. I know this blog may encourage some, but I also want to encourage myself and be excited to sit and write something. I want my blog to be a creative outlet for me. I want to take more time writing posts and treat it as a creative pursuit and process, something that I really care about, rather than a haphazard mish-mash of thoughts.

So I am going to do it! I am going to create a new blog that is what I want. I am nervous as I don't know how I will handle pushing myself creatively (I have a lot of creative hangups, as we all do). I already have the name and blog address. The thing is I want to design it myself and...I have no idea how to design a blog! I know how to do the simple things, but I want to make my own template, buttons, all of it.

I am going to sign up for some e-courses for blog design. But I need photoshop in order to do all this and that costs $650 or I can use it for a year for $200 ($20 a month). That is still a lot of money! And we just can't afford that right now. But my little noodler is noodling about it all and I'm excited!

So stay tuned my loves, it will happen one day. Until then I will still be around right here with little updates.

xx, C

2 comments:

  1. I totally know what you mean! I created my blog in 2009 and wrote almost every day, and then in 2011 I just became way too depressed writing the same "I"m way too depressed" post over and over, so I stopped blogging. But now I'm back and very happy to have this outlet.

    I hope you'll continue to visit my blog, as I really appreciate your support and wise feedback. Also, please announce the new link when your new site is up and running! I definitely want to see it!

    With the Photoshop issue-- that's an INCREDIBLY expensive program. My last semester at uni I took a digital design course, and I couldn't afford to buy the program. But luckily the computers in the computer lab in the library had it installed, so maybe you can call local schools or libraries and see if you can use their computers for design. Just a thought!

    Be well,
    NOS

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  2. I can totally relate to what your feeling and while I'm super excited to see what you'll come up with. I also hope you know that regardless of how happy they are, I enjoy your posts and all of the heart behind them. Expanding your horizons is always a good thing but your blog is beautiful now too :D <3

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