this morning

Feeling pretty lousy this morning. This is my to-do list from last week, and I think I have only done two things from it.

My anxiety and sadness are beating and I'm trying to calm down as R is at work. I tell myself that it will be ok. That it's ok to be sad and have bad days. That it's ok to cry. But the tears still won't come and I feel pent up and knocked around by this evil internal monster.

Sleep is still horrible. Tomorrow I have an appointment with a sleep specialist to go through some of the issues I'm having with my CPAP machine. We'll see if that helps.

At least it is cold outside. There are blankets, and candles, and pups around, and tea waiting to be made in the kitchen.

xx, C


  1. I am sorry sweetie. Wish I could help with your list. I am feeling the same. Very lonely even though I am surrounded by family and kids. its a weird thing. Last night it was bad and I just couldn't crying almost at the top of my lungs. It scared Sammy and that is what I am afraid of. scaring the kids cause they do not understand. Sleep is bad too and I have terrible dreams of doomsday and I cant help my kids through it. I hope it goes away soon cause it is horrible and I hope you feel better soon too. I love you so much and cant wait to see you soon

  2. Please hang in there, I so very MUCH understand what you are going through. I am waiting for my "better days" to get here too.....and they will for us both!

  3. I hate that you're still not sleeping. Hopefully they'll figure something out for you. Hang in there!

  4. its ok to have failed to-do lists... i have them all the time... Just found your blog. Love it... you've got yourself a new follower.. Tc :)

  5. I do that a few times a week. I have to or I won't get anything done. Usually if I do one or two things and roll the rest over onto a new list, I'll eventually get everything done.
    Hang in there :)


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