furniture and glory and six a.m.

I'm up early. Ronald and I are trying to go to bed later (nine instead of eight), but it's a hard habit to break as I love basically crash around eight. I know...we are old. :)

Yesterday we spent six hours putting together our wardrobe and dresser from Ikea. It was a lot of work! We also had to move a bookshelf, and a very heavy old dresser. I got my finger stuck in part of the furniture, and also had a crazy heavy wooden Buddha statue fall on my foot. Oh and did I mention I slammed my head on the windowsill of our bedroom? Yeah, it was one of those days.

The furniture is lovely though. The last thing we have to put together is the new bed. I can't wait!

I'm trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. At twenty-eight I feel like I am showing up way late to this. But having depression really screwed with my plans, and honestly this is the first time I have felt exactly like myself in my whole life. I know that is a weird and vast thing to say, but it is very true. So here I am with an open future, and I have vague intentions but no defined goals.

Not knowing what I want overwhelms me a bit. Mainly because I am scared to live my life. So much of my life has been dictated by someone/something else's plans for me. Now it is my turn. I know there is great freedom in that, but I feel very young internally, and like I don't know how to do basic things, even though I really do. I just doubt myself. The key is to do and if I fall, just get back up and keep doing until I figure it out.

Have you found your path in life? If so, how did you do it?

xx, C


  1. Unfortunately, no. I wish I could say I have, but I still haven't :[ It's a work in progress, I suppose.

  2. OMG. That sucks about hurting yourself so much!! Ouch!!
    I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Well I have a few things. Travel, own a motorhome, retire young, create. But for like a job.. I wish I could stay home and write poetry and drink wine all day!
    It overwhelms me to think of all the years in between working-being young and then being older and retiring. I don't know what I want to do in the in-between years.. and then even worse is thinking about what if I never make it to retirement age?! Shit!

  3. I haven't completely found my path, but I'm a lot closer than I've ever been. I'm like you in that I feel like others have dictated my life too much, and breaking that mold is the first step. After that it's hard to get used to the idea that this is your life and you are in control of it.


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