It's been almost a month since my last post. I've become pretty quiet this year, more cozy in my cocoon. It's not what I want so I am trying to open up more, hence this post. 

I'm still terribly depressed. Most days my biggest accomplishment is bathing before bed and brushing my teeth. I don't leave the house or wear more than pjs. It's really shocking how quickly depression can stop my life. I feel in a constant fog and the days wash together. I'm so sad, feel incredibly guilty and inadequate, and am extremely anxious.

All I really do is watch tv. When the tv is off I get super anxious so I keep it on all the time. I can't focus much on what I'm watching though, my mind races and nothing quiets it down, not even sleep. This is so horrible and I can't believe my depression is back and this bad. I'm so discouraged.

Yesterday I was able to clean the kitchen, and journal, two huge steps. This morning I am going to throw on some sneakers and take a walk at the park where R and I got married almost thirteen years ago, and then stop at the market. If I can pull that off I feel like I can get some momentum. I'm really hoping I can get back on my feet soon. I miss being myself.