Being depressed is the worst. I'm doing my best to not give up, but my insides hurt like hell. The ache permeates everything and it is the worst pain I've ever experienced. I'm trying to figure out how to shake it this time around. I'm trying to be in the present moment, aches and all. I'm just so sad, you know? Just heartbroken in there and I know its chemical, and I know it's more than that too, and it's just horrible.

I get the above song lyric in my head whenever I'm down. It's sort of a battle cry and sort of a swan song for me. Part of me says "bring it!" to my depression, the other tells me I just need to disappear.

"And I can hear my swan song singing, it is winter then it is a new year." -The Promise Ring.

xo, C

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