"pray the right way"

print from Mel Stringer


So Wednesday I sprained my ankle. *Goodbye to platform shoes forever!* It was a really scary moment for me because I thought I broke it and fell in the middle of a parking lot after I tried to get up and fell again and then crawled to the side of the road. Strangers looked on but just walked past. It was so strange. I ended up having to yell for someone to help me. Note to self and everyone on earth: if someone seems hurt, ask if they need help.
I totally thought it was broken so went to the ER. I was so relieved it was only a sprain! Had to use crutches for about a day but I have a a removable gel cast which gives me support so have been ok walking with only the slightest limp.

Making matters worse, on Friday I got a stomach bug (I think food poisoning???). My fever got to 103 and I was a mess. I have been sick ever since. Hardly able to hold down food or liquid. It's been rough. Yesterday afternoon I started to feel a little better, but a bit yucky feeling this morning. I'm keeping some food down though so that's good and I kind of want to drink seltzer water. Big improvement.

The hardest part though has been the out of control anxiety I have been experiencing ever since this all happened. My anxiety has been rising the past few weeks. It's gotten pretty bad. But now it is totally out of control. I burst into tears tens of times a day just sobbing about how scared I am. I keep thinking something bad is going to happen, and it was so hard to have Ronald go to work today. Anxiety is a horrible thing. Never underestimate how much it can fuck up your life. And never make anyone feel judged for having it. It is a vicious illness, that's for sure.

I have a therapy phone appointment this morning and now I am sitting outside in the half dead patio garden drinking coffee and trying to feel ok. It's ok, it's ok, it's ok. 

I've been looking for some new shoes online as my most comfortable shoes are platforms. Let's get sensible here and admit that I am a huge klutz who shouldn't be wearing heels...ever. Anyone want to donate to the shoe fund? hehehe.

Hopefully I'll be back with more jolly jobbers. But for now this is it.

Love, C

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