home at 7 a.m.

I keep waking up around 4:45 from bad dreams. This time I couldn't go back to sleep so I threw on some sweatpants over leggings along with a hoodie under a granny robe and got up. Our house is cold in the mornings since we have been leaving the windows open through the night so I have to dress like an eskimo. I don't mind though as it's nice to get the Summer staleness out of the house.

I thought I'd take some photos of our house first thing. It's weird how different the wall color in our living room looks in artificial light, one picture that I didn't post makes the walls look lime green!

Right now I'm sitting at my desk on my iMac that I almost got rid of, so glad I didn't as it feel really nice sitting here looking at a giant screen. I want to sit here more, I need to sit here more.

I'm doing a little better. Not sure why. Not sure why not. I have therapy today so I hope that will help sort out some of the mess that has settled in my head like a rats nest.

Thinking is hard. Living is hard. Trying to be okay with all that is just about the hardest.

I'm going to try to keep up on blogging this week, I've lost so much routine in my life so it's time to get back at it.

Monday's are boohoos in general. But it is October and pumpkins exist, as well as sweaters, so that's something.

xx, C


  1. Thinking IS hard! I've noticed that when I'm feeling down, it's usually because I'm thinking way too much - so I just try to quiet the thoughts or free my mind from them and it helps so much.
    e m m a ▼ d e e r

    1. I try hard to quiet my mind too when I'm sad. I have mantras and things I think of when I am thinking too much and it helps some of the time. I am trying to learn that it's ok to cry, over-think, and just freak out sometimes too. :)

  2. "Thinking is hard. Living is hard." - Oh it really really is sometimes. Often we make it even harder on ourselves with our own thoughts. I know, lately I've started to fill my mind with worry about things that I cannot change. So I've been doing things, like getting out of the apartment, that let me forget those things.

    1. I spent years worrying about my husband dying. So much to the point that I would have panic attacks. After years of that I am finally able to let some of that fear go and it has changed my life so much. It really takes time and it's crazy how one thought can snowball into a huge mess and issue. Now I know to catch those thoughts early and address them before they get out of hand.


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