I'm in the midst of a pretty intense fibromyalgia flare up. I feel rotten.

I've been resting all day. Ronald is working tonight, and I miss that fella so much. 

I'm realizing how life has changed so much in the last year or two. I get little memories of how things used to be and it makes me want to cry. I miss cooking. I miss blogging every day and taking care of the house. I miss journaling, I miss walking fast and doing silly dances whenever I felt like it. I miss going for walks on the trail right by our house. I miss being able to go to the mall. 

Now I can do so little. I can't even shower some days. I'm trying so hard to stay positive but it's such an uphill battle.

I just have to keep going though, that's the thing.


Today is suicide prevention day. All I can say is that small things can make a huge difference. I know for me little things someone said or did has often taken me from the brink. Be kind and don't be afraid to reach out to the people around you. You never know where someone is at, we all wear masks. I'm kind of at a loss for words today from my fibro fog. Just know you are not alone in your suffering, none of us are.

xx, C


  1. I have been/am there on the feels. It seems I've done nothing but live in an increasingly worse flare since my dx. I try to stay positive, but I also struggle with depression. Have for years.

    The way I try to see things now, to deal with the sadness and guilt, is that my job, my purpose, has just shifted some. My job is now to take care of me, whatever that looks like... Even if it's remaining firmly rooted to the couch for the day. Fortunately, my wonderfully realistic and supportive husband is a proponent of this view.

    Good luck. I hope your flare alleviates soon, like, yesterday :)

  2. Oh no, sorry to hear that Catherine :( Thinking of you, and hope you start to feel better really soon!! xx


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