Ronald is my lucky penny. The rest of the coins in my pocket are various curses. Depression, memories of a bad childhood, a few other mental illnesses for good measure, infertility, and now this yet to be named energy sapping physical illness. It makes me realize if it wasn't for that lucky penny I wouldn't be fighting any more.
I have been sitting with this vague understanding that no one is promised a life of health, a good life, a happy life. That makes me want to cry. But it is the truth. I fight harder than most people know. I think I handle this curse pretty well, but damn it hurts, and damn do I want it to end.
I have to keep going though, for that shiny penny. Even when it hurts like hell, even when I can't go on, I have to. And that is the beauty, and that is all the terror in the world.
xx, C
You are so amazing, and such an inspiration to me xx
ReplyDeleteYou're lucky to have him, but he's also a lucky guy to have you!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you guys have each other. (sending you a hug)
ReplyDeleteYou bring out the best in each other... Continue to shine together....
ReplyDelete