It's really hard to move forward with your life when you are in a 3 month depression that doesn't want to leave, dealing with intense chronic pain from fibromyalgia to the point that you can hardly function, having sky-rocketing anxiety that isn't responding to medication, and a PCOS flare. Well, that's exactly where I'm at and I'm moving forward anyway.
Even though I may be stuck on the couch most days due to pain, I'm reading books that are helping me define who I am and find more happiness, I am also making jewelry that I hope to sell on Etsy and am enjoying being creative. On days I can stand and move a bit I doll up and go on solo self-love date where I grab a coffee and journal and then treat myself to a thrift store run. I also am slowly learning to bake (and burning things quite frequently), but not giving up! I water and care for the garden every day and am planning on creating a gorgeous rose garden, I love my life and even if it hurts I'm taking care of things. I am loving Ronald and trying to be more and more vulnerable and open with him (I hate being vulnerable HATE). I'm also reaching out and trying to make some new friends and I have intensive therapy sessions twice a week. I'm also returning to writing which is so hard and lovely at the same time. I've been seriously ill for 12 years now and I just want to move forward and live a simple and happy life.
Ronald and I have struggled so much. It's very isolating and we've lost a lot through this struggle. We are trying to take our lives back and get me better. Ronald is an amazing support for me. He has taken over all the chores while working 50+ hours a week, he comforts me and reminds me that my illness is just that, an illness and not a character flaw or who I am. I just adore him more and more. We have been married nearly 13 years but lately things feel so new between us. I think it's because I am able to see some light at the end of the tunnel so we have a new way to connect. It's exciting, it's scary, we keep moving.
xo, C
You know I think you rock! Baby steps are still steps!! Sometimes that's the best we can hope for, and that's okay. We all can't move mountains every day! We do what we're capable of and we learn to be at peace with that.
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