12/17/15

pet names


So I was watching Eat, Pray, Love a few weeks ago and I love how Javier Bardem's character (who is swoon worthy by the way) calls his son "darling" throughout the film. It's so sweet and honest. While watching the movie I had an idea, I was going to start calling myself darling.

Here's the thing. I'm kind of an asshole to myself. Like a lot. I am so mean to myself it's ridiculous! Learning to love myself is the main thing I am working on these days and breaking those old habits. So I realized that it's a lot harder to say something mean to myself when I address myself as "darling".

I've tried it here and there, and am going to try it more. It's weird and interesting, and it pretty much works (so far). It takes my mean-to-myself habits and throws them for a loop. Before I think "You look horrible today!" I add "darling" and then the entire sentence sounds kind of like a joke and makes me smile or I skip it altogether and just say "darling". I think, 'Good lord, why am I so fucking hard on myself?' It gives me pause. A chance for my brain to catch up to my destructive emotional responses.

Darling is one of my favorite pet names. But any name that has a loving connotation for you will do. Baby, sweet, cupcake, lemon drop, you know...I could list pet names for days. But the point is be loving to yourself. The way you address yourself is important, the way you treat yourself is important. I can't stress that enough. The dialogue you have with yourself is so important, in fact it's critical to your entire life. It can affect every aspect of your life either negatively or positively. And once you go down that negative path, it's damn hard to turn it around.

Let's love ourselves. Everyone deserves love and love begins within us. Someone somewhere started a rumor that if you were nice to yourself, you were vain, if you liked yourself, you were a bitch. That's all bullshit. By loving yourself you are equipping yourself to love others. You are coming from a place of love. If our bodies are a temple, I want mine to be filled with love.

xo, C

3 comments:

  1. In my weekly support group, that's one of the things we talk about so often. Doing away with the negative self-talk, and replacing it with positives instead. We always stress the point that, if you wouldn't say it to a stranger or someone you liked, DON'T say it to yourself! I would never tell a friend she was fat or stupid, why is it so easy to say those things to myself? You are right, it IS a habit, one that's too easy to fall back on.

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  2. I absolutely agree with this! I call myself 'little one', because it reminds me of being a little girl, and how can you not be gentle to little girls?! It came to me one day as I was trying to remind myself to love, and it's always stuck with me. Thank you so much for confirming how awesome this is! And hello from Girl Gang HQ! xo

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