I have a lot of issues with shame. I feel it constantly about my weight. I always feel guilty when I eat anything in front of someone else even my husband. I think I am being judged constantly.

When I go shopping I feel so much shame when I have to pick out my size that is always hidden in the back of the rack. I hide my hangers or anything that says my size and feel so horrible when I pay for my items at the checkout. Being plus size, I also have to go to the plus section of stores and that is like pulling teeth for me, so devastating and painful, most of the time it makes me want to cry.

I avoid mirrors, I rarely wear heels or makeup that accentuates my features. I wear no eyeshadow and lipgloss instead of lipstick because I feel like it looks pretentious for me to even think I can look cute at this size.

All this makes me so sad. I want to have confidence about my looks. I want to accept myself at any size. Life gets busy and I often find myself putting this issue on the back burner because it is so overwhelming and I don't quite know how I will fix it, but I want to try.

How do you deal with shame? 

xx, C


  1. First of all, you are absolutely beautiful, never forget that, even if you don't think you can believe it yourself.

    Second, know that most women have these awful feelings at one point or another. I struggled with them for years and still do to a certain extent. I spent 10 years of my life fighting an eating disorder. While I don't have it all figured out by any means I do know that feeling shame is something you have to acknowledge and fight against, force yourself to accept yourself and then refocus on doing what makes you happy-be that heels or makeup or whatever! Everyone is different and no matter how many times we hear it the important thing is to not only say we accept ourselves but believe it too (even if you have to fake it to make it at first!). My friend sent me this book and I think it's fantastic, I'd highly recommend it:

    XO Lori

  2. Thank you Lori for your thoughtful note. I will definitely look up this book.

    xx, C


I adore your notes! Please don't be shy! :)