pet names

So I was watching Eat, Pray, Love a few weeks ago and I love how Javier Bardem's character (who is swoon worthy by the way) calls his son "darling" throughout the film. It's so sweet and honest. While watching the movie I had an idea, I was going to start calling myself darling.

Here's the thing. I'm kind of an asshole to myself. Like a lot. I am so mean to myself it's ridiculous! Learning to love myself is the main thing I am working on these days and breaking those old habits. So I realized that it's a lot harder to say something mean to myself when I address myself as "darling".

I've tried it here and there, and am going to try it more. It's weird and interesting, and it pretty much works (so far). It takes my mean-to-myself habits and throws them for a loop. Before I think "You look horrible today!" I add "darling" and then the entire sentence sounds kind of like a joke and makes me smile or I skip it altogether and just say "darling". I think, 'Good lord, why am I so fucking hard on myself?' It gives me pause. A chance for my brain to catch up to my destructive emotional responses.

Darling is one of my favorite pet names. But any name that has a loving connotation for you will do. Baby, sweet, cupcake, lemon drop, you know...I could list pet names for days. But the point is be loving to yourself. The way you address yourself is important, the way you treat yourself is important. I can't stress that enough. The dialogue you have with yourself is so important, in fact it's critical to your entire life. It can affect every aspect of your life either negatively or positively. And once you go down that negative path, it's damn hard to turn it around.

Let's love ourselves. Everyone deserves love and love begins within us. Someone somewhere started a rumor that if you were nice to yourself, you were vain, if you liked yourself, you were a bitch. That's all bullshit. By loving yourself you are equipping yourself to love others. You are coming from a place of love. If our bodies are a temple, I want mine to be filled with love.

xo, C


this wild life

A vintage Paris painting for our bathroom.

Oh my word, things have been wild! We are renovating both our bathrooms, and the exterior of our house is being repaired and painted. Not only is my anxiety running wild (having people in our house is a huge trigger for me), but we have also had some issues with our contractors communicating with us, and things have been up and down in that regard. 

One of the good things is that the design has been 100% in my control. I picked every feature of the bathrooms, and the paint colors for the exterior. Our guest bathroom is going to have a mid century modern feel, and our master bath is going to have a 1920s/bohemian feel. I am thrilled about both and can't wait to see the finished product. I have ordered most things online so am hoping that the vision I have in my head is accurate and that everything will go together!

I'm realizing that during this time I really have to work on self-care. First of all, getting a bathtub and these renovations done is a huge part of self-care on it's own. I haven't had a bathtub that worked for seven years! It's going to help reduce my anxiety as well as my fibromyalgia pain. We also had some issues with dry rot that I'm sure wasn't good for our health. And driving up to a pretty exterior is going to be fantastic! 

My self-care routine includes the following...Each morning I shower and throw on a cozy dress and some mascara. I tidy the house, light candles and make a list of plans for the day. Mainly I sit around watching movies as I am trying to keep our crazy dog Cricket who barks most of the day calm, so spending time cuddling pups is a big priority. I've also baked most days (today chocolate crinkle cookies), and plan a simple dinner. Each night I take Melatonin to help reduce my anxiety enough so I can sleep.

One other thing I set up today is my aromatherapy diffuser. It fills the room with essential oil pretty fast and I can run it all day. I usually blend my own water with lavender, frankincense (one of my favorites!), and rose oil. 

Having an anxiety disorder and four nervous dogs isn't fun during stressful things like this. I am doing my best to hold it together, but it's rough. I know in the end it will be worth it! Can't wait to take a bath with a fancy Lush bath bomb!

My next post will be about how the way we care and set up our home really affects our state of mind and can be a form of self-love. I'll share some fun ideas and thoughts. So stay tuned!

xo, C