in and out

This afternoon I tidied our disaster-house here and there. Putting essential oils in a drawer, watering plants, making the bed. I love home, I love this nest.

I've been working for about a month now and I think I am getting the hang of it. I have been so stressed I have really let my internal life fall to the wayside. I stopped journaling, writing in my personal blog, and reading. It's time to start those things back up. I miss those things. I miss those simple moments. 

I know I keep talking about Mary Oliver, but oh fuck I love her. Reading just a few of her poems made me want to write again, take time to look at the stars at my 5 a.m. walk, and slow down and enjoy my espresso. Poetry is such a powerful inspiration to me. I need to remember that. Maybe poetry is my religion. Poetry and kindness...that sounds good.

This coming week I'm going to take myself on a date to my favorite little French Cafe'. Do some trudging in the garden, and read some damn books. I feel like I am slowing down to realize everything is ok, I don't need to constantly stress about whether I am doing ok at work, ok at life, etc. It is what it is, slow down and enjoy it.

xo, C


some words on love

Like and love are weird little worms. I love it. It's vulnerable and raw and scary as hell. Loving Ronald is the best thing I've ever done. The more I let my tender show, the more connected I feel, not just to him but to myself, to the earth, to the preciousness of the moment.

I'm not so great at being vulnerable and putting myself out there. The conundrum is that I am also a very open person, so to others it probably seems like I am being vulnerable, but really it is just the speech I carry, the words I muster to describe my weird life. Vulnerable is much harder to get at, that sticky squishy red heart stuff. But when I'm there, vulnerable, cracked shell, busted open apple, I feel alive. 

So here's to scary love, scary like, and the raw wonder of being exposed.

xo, C


When I Am Among the Trees


When I Am Among the Trees- Mary Oliver

When I am among the trees,
especially the willows and the honey locust,
equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness.
I would almost say they save me, and daily.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
     but walk slowly, and bow often.

Around me the trees stir in their leaves
and call out "Stay awhile."
The light flows from their branches.

And they call again "It's simple," they say,
"and you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
with light, and to shine."


Yesterday I wandered through the book store hunting. Hunting for the poetry section (which the bookstore moves constantly), only to find it nestled in the corner near the magazines and bathroom. Wide on the shelf, a fresh frosting of books spread in front of me. I found two by Mary Oliver, whose work makes me want to nature walk and hummingbird flutter. And Billy Collins, who is new to me but there is a dog on the cover so he is already in my good graces.

So this morning, up early, pain seething up and down my legs and spine from a damn incurable disease, I read this poem and it made me think of Yosemite and waving trees and that flick-flack song they sing to me when I sit on the swing in the yard on a breezy day, listening, sitting on the faded orange cushion, the pups wagging around, my garden set before me half dead, but half alive too, and I'm at home. At home in this world, at home in this tree. All is at peace.

xo, C


clothes and tattoo plans

So store credit is a lovely thing, especially when it has been way over 30 days! I had a bunch of things from Modcloth that didn't work and I finally got to the post office to ship them back. With the store credit I was able to get these three dresses and three skirts! Pretty excited. 

Skirts are a new thing for me, but I'm a big fan. I love that I'm able to wear cute t-shirts with them and dress it up with pearls or pretty earrings. It makes my wardrobe way more versatile which is nice. I also love how twirly the skirts are, I kind of want to spin in circles all day when I wear one!

This coming month I'm planning on getting some tattoos and maybe my tongue pierced. These are things I've wanted for ages and I am going to treat myself with my first paycheck! I am hoping I can get two shin tattoos and two little phrases above my knees. Not sure how far my money will stretch. I also want to get Ron a Lincoln tattoo. I'll keep you posted on how it goes...

xo, C


House tour part one: living room

I thought I would do a little house tour of some of my favorite rooms in our house. I had to use my phone as I can't find my DSLR plug in, so the pictures aren't the best.

I really love our living room. I recently redecorated the majority of the room to be more colorful. I love how the wall color is bright but with the even brighter colors layered on top it looks more like a neutral! I also am learning that if you do color right it can feel really fresh and not too busy, this room has a lot going on, but it also gets a lot of light and is so calming to me. 

I use a lot of white, coral, pale pinks, and blues. I really want to replace our couches (dreaming of this and this), but our hand-me-down sofas are pretty damn comfy even though they don't really fit with the room style. For now I keep them covered in white and blue quilts and that works.

A few things not pictured is our huge tv. I wanted a huge one and I seriously love it, so fun for movie night! Also not pictured are our fans, our stacks of books waiting to be donated, and all the dog toys, and dust bunnies. So yeah, we live here. I want my house to be lived in and not perfect. I forget that a lot and end up judging myself for mess which is just silly. Our space makes me happy and it doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful. So yeah, I do have mess...lots of mess!

I'm really proud of this room. Out of all our rooms this one makes me the most happy and relaxed. What is your favorite room in your house? What is it about that room that makes it your favorite?

xo, C


kitchen diary

Hi Doves!

Some kitchen notes for today. Last night R and I made over 30 green smoothie freezer bags. They are incredibly easy! Buy whatever fruits and veggies you want, fill quart freezer bags about half way, seal and throw in the freezer. One bag makes two smoothies which is perfect. We and add greek yogurt, carrot and orange juice, delicious!

Today I am going to make some slow cooker freezer meals. Including three batches of ribs (getting meat at Costco is kind of ridiculous due to the portions!), beef and broccoli, bbq shredded chicken, carne asada, and a few others. I hope everything turns out well. What I like about these recipes is that there is no prep cooking, I just throw everything in a bag and freeze it! This morning I woke up and realized I misplaced my recipes! I had to reprint everything and luckily I had most of them sort of pinned so after some digging I saved them all to my desktop. 

I had to buy so many different ingredients and spices that I have never used. Including white pepper which I didn't even know existed (what!?!?). I was so thrilled yesterday to find a cute spice rack to hang on the wall. I had the perfect place in mind and bought it for $10. Then once I got home I realized my dream spot for it would block one of our cabinet doors from opening all the way. I feel miserable about it because I was kind of too excited about it. So now I'm brainstorming other options. I think some clear boxes in the pantry that I can pull out when I cook? I just thought it would be adorable as well as functional. Damn...

I realized I haven't done a home post in a while. I'll take some pictures today to post later in the week. The house is sort of cluttered but I kind of want to show the day to day, which is the house usually being a puppy toy scattered mess. 

What have you been up to?

xo, C


French music

I love classic French music! Here is one of my favorite songs. Don't worry about watching the video, just listen and maybe look at Pinterest, read an email, or have some tea. This song is just dreamy!