1/6/13

Sunday



This morning we went to coffee and then a movie. My favorite was talking while we had our coffee/tea. It's so nice to talk to Ronald face-to-face with eye contact. Sometimes I forget how important that is, and I really adore his company.

I'm feeling pretty cruddy this afternoon. So I am drinking more tea and trying to calm down as I am so grumpy and teary I want to go hide under the bed or in a cupboard.

I am in so much physical pain from fibromyalgia it's pretty intense. I basically have a constant headache, and different pains and cramps throughout my body. It can go from being moderate to severe in just minutes, it's really hard to do much of anything. The thing is, I want to do things. I want to be active. But my body isn't allowing that right now.

I learned last night that fibromyalgia causes skin problems as well. My skin is always super dry and I have adult onset acne (so annoying), my skin is also tender to the touch, and I am itchy a lot from being dry. The thing is, if I scratch with much pressure I get a sharp shooting pain through my skin, sometimes it brings tears to my eyes, so I have to be really careful when I itch. I know that sounds kind of weird but it really sucks. :(

Fibromyalgia also can cause nausea, which I have almost every morning (I used to always think I was pregnant, but it definitely isn't that). And it can cause balance problems. I often feel like I am going to fall over and lose my balance walking and didn't know why.

Needless to say: fibromyalgia sucks. I am so lucky that it isn't life-threatening and won't damage my body in any way. But being in perpetual pain is awful, and knowing there is no cure is doubly awful.

I just have to learn to deal with it and persevere. I want to live a full life. I want to be myself, I want to be okay. I have to work towards that.

xx, C

8 comments:

  1. I hope you feel better, but you look absolutely gorgeous! I love your hair!!

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  2. God you are so beautiful. And I want your hair. Want.

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    1. You are so sweet! I realized I didn't have your blog in my reading list. I don't know what happened! Am going to stop by and catch up soon!

      xx, C

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  3. You are seriously gorgeous!

    That sounds like agony :( At least you're keeping positive about it though, that's so hard to do I'm sure.

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    1. Aww thanks Renee!

      Yeah it is hard, but I just have to keep going.

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  4. Hey hottie.

    I'm glad you know what is causing everything. I remember when you said you were getting dizzy all the time it really scared me. I hate that feeling. I didn't know about the skin pain, that is weird. It's weird how many parts of your body it can affect and in different ways.

    Do the symptoms every die down? Like are some days better then others? Or will it always stay the same?

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    1. Hi Sweet.

      The symptoms don't really get better as of yet for me. I'm sure in time when I learn to manage it, things will change. Right now it only gets worse if I do too much. The thing is I want to do things, so it makes it hard.

      xx, C

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